Where have you been and toilet dreams

March 4, 2010

Ikus, Where have you been?

I was visiting my daughter last week. She asked me what happened to my blog. Well, I’ll answer that. I have avoided it because so far I have done none of the things I vowed to do. I’m not eating right (yet), I’m still drinking (1 or 2 glasses, though, not 1 or 2 bottles), and not exercising (even though I rearranged the furniture and bought a large mat to protect the floor for working out). Not even walking (however, it has snowed a bunch and the sidewalks and roads were buried in ice and snow).

Well, here it is, March, and I’m still promising myself every day that tomorrow will be the day…..or, at the very least when I retire at the end of April. I wrote a bit that I didn’t post a while back…..see below:

“January 5, 2010

Toilet dreams….


Just yesterday, or the day before, I remarked to my husband I hadn’t had any toilet dreams for a long time. He gave me a look. He said, what are toilet dreams?

I’ve had this reoccurring theme pop up in dreams once in a while for at least 20 years. Probably every since I’ve held down a grown up job. The dreams vary, but the theme is the same. I need to use the toilet, and it is a public place, like an airport, office, school, or other public place. All the stalls are full, or maybe there is one stall I could use, but there is always a problem with it. It might be full of…..crap. And the ….crap….has spilled all over the floor. Or maybe there is no door and I’m in full view of the whole place. Or so on.

It is obvious to me these were stress induced dreams. My husband said I must have some privacy issues. Maybe it is because I’ve spent most of my career feeling like I didn’t know what I was doing or feeling less than adequate for my job. Mind you, my performance evaluations have always been great, and as I said, I’ve been promoted up there pretty good. I just always felt like someone was going to figure out I didn’t know what I was doing. I had a little comfort once from my good friend. Her husband was an attorney. She said she heard many of the guys from his law firm say the same thing about their jobs.

Anyway, I had a toilet dream last night. Sunday night. (Sunday’s are always a little high anxiety anyway because Monday is back to work, you know.)

Just thought you might like to know….”


The other night, speaking of dreams, I had a Sting dream. Have I mentioned one of the reoccurring dream themes I have had all my adult life includes dreams of Sting. Early on, when I was slender and felt prettier, in the dreams we were always instantly attracted, but were friends (affectionate friends), but nothing sexual. Now in my Sting dreams I’m usually trying to figure out how to get his attention while he pays no notice to me. I’m sure there is some meaning there. Meaning I feel like crud about myself – how I appear, anyway.

To catch you up, Jon and I went to Portland in January for a week. Just to see what Portland was like. Enjoyed it. One or both of us had upset stomachs every night – I’m sure because of the excess of eating and drinking.

In February we booked a cruise for November – Mediterranean cruise with ports in France, Italy and Greece. Did a lot of research via internet, books and video. Still doing that. I vow to be a size 8 by then.

I’ve gained weight since the beginning of the year. I crossed A LINE!!! OK, I’ll say the number. On my scale, just this week, I’ve crossed the 180 pounds mark. Un-be-flipping-lievable!!!

I do promise to be more current and blog at least once a week. And loose 2 pounds a week. Hold me to it!! Call me on my bad behaviour!!

Thanks. Bye.

PS – I caught a few minutes of the SciFi Channel show Caprica last Friday night. I got hooked. I don’t know what the frak is going on, but will watch until I get too frustrated and stop watching. The scene that caught me was where the guy while doing a diagnostics test on the cylon/girl was making it dance. The girls expression while dancing contrasted with the robot did intrigue me . Mind you I had NO idea why the robot/girl thing was a robot/girl or that this series had anything to do with Battlestar Galactica. My husband filled me in on that part. And please forgive any spelling errors here. I could look up how to spell Cylon, if that isn’t correct, but too lazy.