Mom's house days 2 and 3

Well, one side, the north side, of the house is painted, two coats. Yesterday Mom "helped" and today sister Cindy helped. Cindy is a good helper. She and I work well together. It is very harmonic when the two of us are on a project. We enjoy each others company and usually something will make us laugh so hard we can't breathe and tears roll down.

Here are some pics of the "before".

Can you see how badly the paint is peeling? And the junk all around that mom thinks is vital to her existence?





In the photo below, there is the once magnificent burning bush tree that is now all but dead. I want to cut it down, Cindy agrees. But mom says the birds love it, she calls it her bird sanctuary and refuses to let us take it out. True, the birds love it. But below it is the result of having the birds there. Lots of weeds including poison ivy. Hard to maintain and deal with. Once upon a time in the shade beneath this tree was a number of beautiful hosta. Now even the hosta are suffering and I'd like to dig them up and relocate them. To be continued.....





Below is herself, with Taffy.

This is me with Taffy. I call her Taffy Apple. Oh, and in the background at the corner of the house is what is left of the forsythia.


Yep, I still have some beefy thighs.


Cindy helping.
Now, below is a before picture. That dark place is the forsythia. I may have already done some work on it, and the photo doesn't show how big and nasty that thing was.




Anyway, I'd intended to do the back first, but it is just too hot in the sun to work there, all the scraping and sanding that will be needed. I'll save that for cooler and/or cloudy days. There is plenty of work to do. Including the landscaping.

As far as 6WBM, I've been good in the early part of the day following it. But then things fall apart late in the day. Mainly because I haven't planned in advance what I intend to eat and got the groceries into the house.

June 1 I intend to do what I said back in January....do the hard work. Even if I'm tired, etc. I went to the pool today for an hour. I could write my grocery list at the pool, do my shopping on the way home (who cares if I'm wet) and stick to the plan rigorously. I have one more day to slide. The June 1 it's P90X and 6WBM for 90 days. Excusing myself for Oregon and Texas.

I still have not called my son. Thought about it today, but didn't do it. Don't know why it is more difficult to pick up the phone and call Ryan when it's very easy to contact Regan. I love that young man.

Anyway, yawn. Back to mom's in the morning. Cindy will be around a couple of hours, so that will be good. Cindy thinks we need to get Kathy's kids over to help. Hmmmmmm.

Painting mom's house - Day 1

Well, I was rather excited to get started this morning. I woke up early - did not even set an alarm. Packed my 6WBM snack and lunch. Watered the pots at my house. Kissed Jon goodbye as I left before he had to leave for work. Took my coffee, camera, cell phone and off I went.

Well, first my mom wanted to "look" at the house. She wanted to walk around and look at what needed to be done here, and what needed to be done there. I finally said, "This is just wasting time, I know what to do. I'm going to get started."

My plan is to start on the back. Of course she has all kinds of crap stacked up against the house. There's a bunch of mulch and bags of potting soil and compost. Some I swear have been there 10 years. Anyway, I spent the day clearing the garbage away from the house and raking up the mulch.

I pulled out the cushions for her patio chairs. She complained - she doesn't like to use the cushions or umbrella for the table because she doesn't want the weather to damage them. I said, they are meant to be used outside. If it rains, they will dry out. She has a very nice patio chair with a foot rest that she has had since - no lie - 1994, that has only been out of her garage the two times I pulled it out. She has a freak out and puts it safely back in the garage. What the flying f... is she saving it for?????????????????? She's about to be 83...does she think there will be a better time to use it? Anyway, little does she know it, but I'm dragging that sucker out over the weekend!

I moved a chair over into the shade so she could sit there and watch, since it was apparent she wasn't going to go inside while I worked. She put Taffy on a chain in the yard. Taffy is so sweet and cutesy wootsey. At one point, though, when I went in the house to have my 6WBM snack, I heard my mom hollering and screaming. Taffy was gone! Mom had also come in the house for a minute, but when she went back out to sit with the dog, the dog was no where to be seen. I thought my mom was seriously going to have a heart attack. But I spotted the little pooch two yards down. And fortunately, when I approached her, she did not run away.

Finally, I started giving the forsythia a trim. It is huge and overgrown and towers over the house and up against it and into the neighbor lady's yard. Mom's neighbor, Evelyn, is an old widow same as my mom. I'm surprised they don't hang out together more. Anyway, I only worked on it a while. That thing is going to get a serious haircut. I tackled that damn thing once many years ago when my kids and I still lived 4 doors down from my mom. That is a wicked, wicked shrub. I'm taking it DOWN! To the GROUND! And Cindy and I have more plans for mom's backyard that we haven't shared with her yet. We are only telling her what she NEEDS to know!

About 1:30 I went home and took a shower and cleaned up. Then I went back to mom's, picked her up and we went to buy a gallon of the paint we think we want, and some tools, and then to Penney's to order some window shades. She decided since we're painting, she'll just get her kitchen window some new shades.

So, I felt good, like I accomplished something - though I never actually got to the house itself. I'm looking forward to getting back to it tomorrow.

Yesterday I did a little art work. I pulled out two unfinished watercolors that I'd started previously and worked on both. One was the Ireland one from the how-to book. The other was a small one of Regan as a child I'd started a couple years ago. I ended up on the dining room table (now in the living room) and put one side of the table back up to give me space. I watched the ABC soaps (my favs) and sat by the window that looks out into our park-like back yard, and worked for hours. Loved it. I felt a little frustrated at my painting. But later on when I walked by and glanced at the work I'd done, I thought it looked pretty good.

Got a post card yesterday from my friend, Shitty. She's cruising the Mediterranean with her husband. Greece, Italy, France. She said she'd spend 3 days in Paris, met a friend there, and bought a Dior bag as a memento. Last year in Italy she bought a Feragamo bag. I think before that it was Louis V. She has traveled all over the world with her husband. Pretty good as she started with nothing. Dirt poor, wearing hand me downs to school. She and her husband can pretty much do anything they want, go anywhere. She definitely has expensive taste. And I am not complaining - only making an observation. I love this woman - she's my dearest friend. We've been friends for close to 40 years. It's just our lives are so different. She's moved all over the place - lived in many different cities. I've pretty much stayed put and never yet have I been to Europe - or anywhere, really, besides Ireland (and Mexico). But, I've had and raised my two kids. She did want to have a child, but couldn't. We have discussed this before. I think I may have said, God just doesn't really want us to have "everything". Would either of us trade our lives for the one the other has? I don't think so. Anyway, I'm glad she's in my life. Anyway - postcard - that is why I brought this up - in addition to telling me briefly of her travels she writes" Hope you're painting and exercising...." Yes, that probably had something to do with my spending time on my watercolors!

I have a studio!

Yesterday morning, after Jon left for work, I left a note on the dining room table to ask Jon to help me on his day off cleaning out and organizing the basement and helping me find a place to set up a "studio". I've always thought I'd end up using the sunny corner of the basement for my studio space. But the basement is damp, messy, full of junk we ought to get rid of, and uninviting. Still, we don't have many options.

About 4:00 when he got off work he phoned and asked if I wanted to go out to eat. We rarely eat out, so I was excited and said yes. By the time he got home to pick me up I'd put on a nice dress and some make up. We went to a little, strange, but good Italian restaurant that I had no idea even existed! During dinner Jon said, "I have an idea. Why don't we turn the dining room or a corner of the living room into a studio for you." I asked if he'd read my note on the table. He said he hadn't seen the note. I laughed and told him what it said. Talk about being on the same page.

This morning we moved the dining room table into the living room. The living room is large, and there is a huge window at one end. We dropped the leaves so the table is two person size, found a rug in the basement to put under it, and it looks cute as can be in front of that window. Then, in the (former) dining room, we brought up the glass table from the basement, my easle (tabletop kind) and my other stuff. I'll spend the rest of today cleaning spider webs and bugs off everything and organizing. But, hey, I have an inviting place to work!! And a pretty darned good husband!

Tuesday seems like Friday

I do enjoy not having a job! The last few weeks, Tuesday has felt like Friday. This is largely because Jon's days off are Wednesday and Thursday. So Tuesday is always his Friday. Last week, I was watching General Hospital as I packed for Florida. I was thinking to myself, oh, this is cliff hanger Friday. Then I realized it was not. When I woke this morning I was thinking, well, if I was still on the job, I'd be looking forward to a 3 day Memorial Day weekend, or possibly taking today off, too, as it is Friday. Then I realized it is only Tuesday.

I talked to my sister, Cindy, yesterday after my trauma with my mother. She said mom does the same thing to her. Cindy goes over there Saturday mornings to do a few things, like change mom's sheets on the bed. But Cindy says mom is always distracting her from her intended project with a stream of other little tasks. My mom has always done that to people. No one can just go to her house and sit and talk and visit. She always says, "Oh, while you're here will you take off the door knob and put this new one on?" or something like that. And it isn't just because she's 82 (almost 83). Nope, she has done this as long as I can remember - even when she was younger than I am now.

Anyway, Cindy and I got a chance to vent and affirmed that we will just stay focused during this house painting project. Cindy will be around Saturday mornings. The rest is up to me. And I told mom, my weekends are Jon's, so do not count on seeing me on Wednesdays and Thursdays. We start the project, officially, on Friday.

I talked to Regan last night. Both she and Quinn seems to want to move back downstate. There are a number of large companies in Central Illinois, and law and accounting firms. They just have to start making contacts.

I think hearing that Regan and Quinn will be moving back into the area concerns Jon. He didn't say it, but I think he fears if my daughter gets back to Peoria before we leave, then I won't go. He KNOWS if she has a baby, I'll be as close to her as possible if she needs me. He seemed sort of quiet last night and this morning so I asked him if something was bothering him. He said he thought I seemed depressed and like something was bothering me. I told him not so. Well, I said, not really knowing exactly where I want to be is giving me a little anxiety.

We didn't talk further because he was off to work. Maybe we'll have to revisit this over his weekend.

I need to call Ry - haven't talked to him since before finals. I don't talk to Ryan as much as Regan. Doesn't mean I don't love him just as much because I do. He doesn't seem to need me as much - but I'd do anything for him if he needed me. Just fyi. I was pleased when he said to me any time after July 12 would be good to come down to Austin. That told me he does want me to come down, so I'm happy.

I'm 164.5 today. The 1.5 pounds I lost in one day is probably the sodium related water weight. I can't wait to get under 160 - I haven't been under 160 since 1997. If I loose 15 more pounds, I might - just might - fit into size 10's again! Yay, 6WBM!

Retirement - Day 24

It has been a busy month. I am enjoying not having a job. My days are so unstructured that I missed two appointments. I completely forgot about them, including one doctor appointment and a lunch with the people from my office.

May 1 was my retirement party. I was disappointed not many people from the office came. Anita and Cheryl came; Cheryl had asked to help out and brought food and helped in the kitchen. A handful of retirees came. My friend Marianne had called to say she was coming but did not. My friend Ediberto had said he'd come but did not. In fact, prior to my retirement, Anita (who is a manager in the office) said they had not really planned a lunch or anything for me in the Peoria office, knowing my manager had planned a party for me in Springfield that everyone was invited to. And I had told Anita that was fine, because I invited everyone from Peoria to my open house party May 1. To which nobody from the office showed up. (But Anita then decided maybe they should have a lunch with me and invite the office. That is the party I missed (above).) I heard there was about 20 people show up for that. My sister Cindy said she counted 23 people at our open house. In the end, that's about capacity for our duplex and the weather wasn't the best for outdoors. We did try to use the deck, even lighting a fire the chiminea. But it rained lightly off and on. It was comical, really. It would start to rain and people would rush to bring in all the furniture cushions. When it stopped, we'd take them all back out. We must have repeated this process at least 3 times. I think those that were here did enjoy the food and company. Regan and Quinn were here, and Quinn's friend James came by. Regan made cupcakes decorated like beach scenes. Water, beach balls, umbrellas. They were cute and tasty, too.

The following week Jon and I headed up to Chicago to witness Regan and Quinn being sworn in (they both passed their bar exams this spring). Regan's dad and Chi came up from Houston, Quinn's parents were there for the event, also. Jon and I went up a day early to enjoy Chicago. We walked through Old Town and Lincoln Park and imagined how nice it would be to live there. We had a nice dinner with the kids and Quinn's folks at Petterino's - a place I really like. The following weekend, my mom, her dog, Taffy, and sister Cindy went back to Chicago to spend Mother's Day. My mom wanted to see their new (rented) house. Dean and Debbie were still there.

And Jon and I went to Florida this week to spend a few days with his sister and her husband. They recently relocated to Hollywood, Florida because Renee often travels to South America for her job. We had a great time. Went to South Beach, Hollywood Beach, and a couple good restaurants. They have the most fabulous house in a modest area, but near the beach, nevertheless. We came back from that trip wanting to move there.







This is what always happens. Virtually every place we go, we want to move there. There are so many places I'd like to live, it is hard to pick just one. Last night Jon and I sat out on the deck and had a talk about when and where to go. We agreed we'd move April 1, 2011. It appears Florida is our destination, but that is subject to change.

6WBM update: I was at 161 on April 30. After two weeks of eating and drinking whatever I wanted I got up to 166. I resumed 6WBM and was down to 161 again prior to leaving for Florida. I'm at 166 again today - again, I ate and drank everything I wanted to. So I'm re-committing, beginning today, to continue 6WBM until I see my friend Shitty in July, when I travel to Oregon to spend a few days with her.

I'm also going to head to Austin to visit my son, Ryan. He told me to come down some time after July 12. He'll be in Dallas till then doing his summer job - working with a judge there on some project. I'm not sure if Jon will come to Austin with me, or maybe he'll come for a few days and I'll stay longer.

So, the next thing on my agenda is to paint my mom's house. That has already become a challenge. I had told her I planned to start on that project today, that I'd do everything including prep work, etc. I went over there this morning to scope out the project. She has a lot of landscaping in the way, a lot of stuff attached to the back of the house. I wanted to formulate a plan for myself. She, as she typically does, told me she wants me to help her paint the inside of the kitchen window, and go to Penney's with her to pick out shades, and do this, and do that. She already has a LONG LONG list of things she figure's I'll be doing.

Oh, yes, and I forgot to tell you the whole Taffy episode - I'll tell you later. In brief, her dog had a little surgery and I made numerous trips to the vet and to her house to take care of the dog. She said to me, "You retired just in time." I said, "Just in time for what?" "Just in time to take care of me and the dog!"

I did NOT retire to be her caretaker or the dog's. There are things I WANT TO DO FOR MYSELF!

So, at my mom's this morning, when she started off with her lists of projects, I just left. It is overwhelming. First of all, she isn't focused. She's all over the place. And that usually causes me to loose my own focus. I've thought about what I'll have to do to get through this. I just have to focus. And if she comes at me with lists, and "oh, just do this one thing for me" I'll tell her that isn't what I'm there for today. Write her lists down and I'll consider them later. I honestly think she thinks I'm going to spend everyday over there with her doing her chores!

I expressed my frustration to Jon. He's tired of hearing it - this is another ongoing issue. He suggested I go back to my therapist for tools to handle the situation. He suggests we "get out of dodge" as soon as possible.

The painting of the exterior of the house is something I want to do. It needs it. And I'll throw in a little yard work, as far as landscaping. But I'm not NOT not going to be her personal slave. Good Grief! My blood pressure is up just from writing this.

All for now. I need to decompress!